


Dreams & Nightmares

by wahtah



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Castiel in the Bunker, Comfort, Dreams, Human Castiel, M/M, Men of Letters Bunker, Nightmares, Sleep
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-02
Updated: 2014-08-02
Packaged: 2018-02-11 09:53:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,268
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2063628
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wahtah/pseuds/wahtah
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When he had still been an angel, Cas had no need for sleep. He had told Dean many times that he would watch over him and protect him as he slept.</p><p>But now, Cas was growing increasingly embarrassed of the fact that he was the one that needed watching over.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dreams & Nightmares

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the [Destiel Ficlet Challenge](http://destielficletchallenge.tumblr.com/) on tumblr.

On a theoretical level, Cas understood the concept of sleep.

He understood that the human body needed time to recover and rejuvenate itself. He also understood that during this time the synapses in the human brain fire off in random patterns, which then could manifest themselves through sensory images and sounds and create dreams.

However, actually experiencing the process was a whole another ballgame.

When he had still been an angel, Cas had no need for sleep. He had told Dean many times that he would watch over him and protect him as he slept. He remembered thinking at the time that the human need for sleep was truly an inconvenience, since it left them so vulnerable. So, he had made it his mission quite early on to watch over the Righteous Man extra carefully during such times.

But now, Cas was growing increasingly embarrassed of the fact that _he_ was the one that needed watching over.

The first few days after he'd become a human, Cas had sort of kept his body constantly moving in the direction of the bunker until he had literally shut down from exhaustion and had passed out more than fallen asleep.

When the Winchesters had finally found him and brought him back to the bunker, Dean had shown Cas to the room that they had prepared just for him. Despite Dean's claims that the bed was extremely comfortable ("Memory foam, dude!"), Cas had looked on it with extreme suspicion. Perhaps he hadn't quite come to terms with his own humanity, but Cas was adamant that he had no need for sleep.

So, for the first two days of his stay in the bunker, Cas adamantly stayed in any room of the bunker but his own. He spent plenty of time familiarizing himself with the vast array of books in the Men of Letters collection, as well as helping Sam comb through the archives for useful information. He also took some time to re-learn using firearms at the gun range with the Dean, as well as sparring with him, in order to learn the limits of his human body. Dean also took special pleasure in introducing Cas to human foods, much to the amusement of the prophet, Kevin Tran.

However, despite the exhaustion that was dragging him down, Cas refused to fall asleep. There was something about losing consciousness, and being so utterly unaware of his surroundings that made Cas extremely uncomfortable with the whole endeavor.

Finally, Dean suggested that he would stay in the room until Cas fell asleep, in order to give him a sense of comfort. Castiel knew that given Dean's inclination against "chick-flick moments," that this was a very genuine offer and as such, agreed to the arrangement. 

The first night, it had taken him nearly an hour after crawling under the covers to fall asleep. His body might have been exhausted, but his mind refused to shut down. He kept tossing and turning on the bed (which Dean had been correct, it was quite comfortable), until Dean had snapped at him to just go to bed already. Cas had resorted to the breathing techniques that Sam had taught him earlier in the day to calm himself down, until he could feel his eyelids get heavy and start to droop. 

The next thing that Cas was aware of was him frantically scrabbling out of bed to face unknown foes that had just moments ago been assailing him from all sides. His shouting had awoken Dean, who apparently had fallen asleep in his chair. He had tried his best to calm Cas down, ("Just a dream, Cas. I promise. You're okay. You're gonna be okay") but it taken Cas a good ten minutes before he could be convinced that the enemies were not real, but a figment of his own imagination. 

After that terrible start, it had taken Dean three more days--three days of a sluggish Cas, a Cas that was growing pale & unhealthy, with large bags under his eyes--before he could convince him to try again. This time, despite a bit of grumbling on his part, Dean had perched himself on the edge of the bed rather than in a chair. He kept his hand on top of Cas', providing him with a comforting touch, ("Seriously, don't make this a big deal or anything, okay?") and helped keep Cas anchored. 

That night, Cas dreamt of the moment when Metatron had slit his throat with an angel blade and stolen his grace. Once again, he found himself harshly woken, but this time not of his own volition, but by a frantic Dean. As soon as he awoke, Cas realized that he had been screaming in his sleep, and that there were tears streaming from his eyes. Cas looked up into Dean's panicked eyes and felt all of his strength leave him at once. Suddenly, it all felt like too much and he found that he couldn't quite catch is breath anymore. ("Cas, Cas--dude, you gotta breathe, okay? Please, come on buddy, stay with me now.")

Cas was taking sharp, shuddering breaths trying to calm his mind when he became aware of Dean's hands slowing rubbing circles on his back and his deep gravelly voice speaking to him. He couldn't quite make out the words just yet, but just the presence of his voice gave him a modicum of comfort.

When he finally was able to focus again, he turned his head slightly to listen to Dean,

"--feel so goddamn guilty for all this shit, Cas. God, I wish you didn't have to deal with this. I wish we could find that Metatron douche and just kick his ass and then we could get your Grace back, and you could be an angel again. Always flitting off in the middle of a conversation, like you used to. You wouldn't have to deal with being human and all the crappy things that come with it..."

"But you know, even if you're stuck like this--even if this is it, I promise you I will be there for you every step of the way man. It won't be so bad. Sometimes being human is pretty awesome. I know I'm not always good with words. I'll probably piss you off more often than not, but if you'll have me, I'll always be there for you Cas. You're so important to me. You, Sammy, Kevin, Charlie--you guys are all I got. You're my  _family,_ Cas. I need you. And I hope you need me to. I know I've been doing a shit job of it so far, but I promise I'll get better Cas. I just need you to stay with me--"

"Dean." 

Dean's eyes snapped to Cas and they held pure relief to see that Cas had calmed down from the remnants of his dream. 

"Heya, Cas. You okay?" 

"I--I'm...not."

"Oh." his expression fell slightly. 

"But, I think I will be. I need you, as well Dean. And you are right, while these nightmares are as you say, 'shitty'--there are many things about being human that I've grown to enjoy. I think most of all, it would be the time I have to spend with you. I'm sorry you're stuck with me, but I am so happy to have you guide me and care for me as you have."

Dean's hands came up to frame both sides of Cas' face and he leaned in to place a soft kiss on Cas' forehead. 

"No way am I  _stuck_ with you Cas. I wouldn't have it any other way."


End file.
